I have been slowly working my way through the book, "A Hunger for God" by John Piper, and have been challenged greatly. The past couple of weeks I have been confronted a lot with the idea of what I find pleasure in. Last week, my team fasted on Wednesday in order to seek the Lord and find contentment in Him. At the end of the day, what I came to conclude is that I eat for pleasure. It is not necessarily and bad thing to enjoy what the Lord has provided for me, but I often forget that I should find more pleasure from the Lord. I need to be hungry for Him and hungry to sit in His presence.
It was a very emotionally draining day for me on Wednesday. It is always interesting how the Lord puts us in situations to grab our attention. He definately was trying to teach me something this day about being hungry for Him. The day started out well. I went to the clinic in the morning because we had the opportunity to visit a disability center in the afternoon. When I arrived at the clinic it was packed with young mothers and their babies. I always love going to the clinic on Tuesdays because I can hold babies the whole time. As I scoped the waiting room, looking for which mother I would approach first, a women came up to Hilliary and I asking for assistance. She was holding a five week old baby that looked like it was one day old. She started to explain that she needed to get formula for her baby because she cannot produce milk for her daughter to eat. I asked the women if I could hold her daughter, and as I unraveled the blanket, I noticed every bone in the child's arms and hands. I asked the women when the last time her daughter ate, and she proceeded to tell me that she hasn't eaten in five days but has only drank water. I almost broke down crying as Hilliary rushed to get one of the sisters. Hilliary assisted the women as she began to cry in her brokenness. Here she was, a first-time mother, unable to provide for her newborn baby. Hilliary found a sister to help her, but we both felt so helpless. There was nothing we could do for her.
As I proceeded down the hallway, an elderly women called out for me. She told me that she could tell that I loved babies, and said that she also did. As I sat down next to her very thin frame, she began to tell me her story of living with low blood sugar. She explained that she had just gotten out of the hospital where the doctors told her she needed to eat fruits and other special foods. The women asked me to pray for her because she could not afford to buy any of the things that were needed in order for her health to be as it should. As I held her close to me and prayed, I prayed that the Lord would fill her hunger and provide a way for her to get the items she needed.
I left the clinic drained by the encounters that I had. I knew that the Lord was definately trying to get my attention. In the afternoon, half of my team visited a disability center called Algoa Frail Care Center. It is home to people of all ages that are mentally and physically disabled. We only went through the three childrens wards that housed over one hundred children, but it is also home to many adults. Going through the wards was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have never seen so many severly handicapped children in my life. While walking through the first ward, the nurse explained to us that the children all had feeding tubes because none of them had the mental ability to feed themselves. Once again, I was reminded that these children would never be able to experience the same pleasure out of food that I enjoy so greatly. Over the next few hours, my team and me sang to the children and loved on them. The nurses said that most people are afraid to touch the children because of their disfigurement, so the fact that we loved on them physically meant a lot.
As I thought about the experiences that I had that day, I was completely broken and drained emotionally. It was odd though, because spiritually I felt refreshed and renewed. I was reminded that as children of God, we need to look to Him to fill us eat day physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I need to find pleasure in Him and delight in being in His presence.
Over the course of this semester I have been challenged a lot about what I truly believe. I have come to the realization that many of the things that I preach to others about what I believe, I only hold close to me because people I love taught me them. I do not say this to confuse anyone, I am thankful for the fundamentals that I have been taught as a child. Without those truths, I would not have fallen in love with Jesus. However, I have learned that christianity is not a formula that one can follow and perfect. Christianity is about a relationship with a Savior. The other day I was praying and listening to my ipod on shuffle, when the song "Own Me", by Ginny Owens started to play. I was so touched by the lyrics because what she says is much of what I have been feeling this semester.
Got a stack of books, So I could learn how to live; Many are left half-read, Covered by the cobwebs on my shelf. And I got a list of laws, Growing longer everyday; If I keep pluggin' away, Maybe one day I'll perfect myself. Oh, but all of my labor, Seems to be in vain; And all of my laws, Just cause me more pain; So I fall before You, In all of my shame; Ready and willing to be changed-
Chorus: Own me Take all that I am, And heal me With the blood of the Lamb. Mold me With Your gracious hand; Break me till I'm only Yours- Own me
Oh, you call me Daughter, And you take my blame; And you run to meet me, When I cry out Your name, So I fall before You, In all of my shame. Lord, I am willing to be changed
There are times in my life when I think I have everything figured out. I think I have everything planned out, yet, at those times, I find myself scared to death because I forget who holds my future. I am at a place in my life, where I have no idea what lies ahead. I have no definate plans for my future, but I am at peace, because I know the Lord has a perfect plan for me. The Lord is constantly challenging me with this concept of Him being in control. As most of you know, I work at a clinic with two other girls, four days a week. I was surprised that I even found myself wanting to work there in the first place because I do not like anything medical, but it was in His plan. Now that we are there regularly, we do not like to leave because we find that after being gone for a period of time, our relationship with some of the workers diminish. Awhile back, our leaders told us about a trip to Lesotho we were going to go on for two weeks. It sounded great at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I found myself not wanting to leave the clinic. I did not want to take away any of the short amount of time I had left with the nurses. I knew that I needed to get a positive attitude about Lesotho if that is where the Lord wanted us to serve. After many nights of prayer, I finally came to the realization that maybe the Lord was using this time away to show me that He will still be at work in the clinic even if the three of us are not there. It turns out, that Lesotho was not where God wanted us to minister. We were all planning to leave on Saturday, but after much prayer, our leaders along with the team, felt that the Lord was leading us to stay in Jeffrey's Bay. Maybe God was using this whole time to teach me that His plans are not always mine. So now, as the weeks I have left here dwindle down, I find myself resting in the promise of His perfect plan for my life.
On Saturday, we will all be traveling to the country of Lesotho for our outreach. We will be there for two weeks working in an orphanage, ministering in townships and doing small construction projects. The country of Lesotho is surrounded by S. Africa and is made up mostly of mountains. Eighty-one percent of the country is rural and we will have no running water or electricity while we are there. I just am asking for your prayers as we are there. It is going to be very difficult going form life in Jeffrey's Bay to the chance that we may not be able to have a bath or shower for two weeks. We will also not have any form of communication while we are there, being that there is no electricity. Please pray for safe travels and that the Lord would use us to minister to the people there.
One of my biggest prayer requests last semester was that this semester God would open doors for the opportunity to go deeper with people in my ministry. I see the people at the clinic everyday, but I never felt as if they desired anything from me other than cleaning the bathrooms and floors. This semester, God has completely answered my prayers in every way possible. Initially, I thought that my ministry at the clinic would be ministering to the patients. I never thought about the fact that I could be an encouragement to the staff and that they would become my ministry. I still love having conversations with the patients in the waiting room, and playing with the children, but the times I enjoy most are hanging out with all of the sisters in the kitchen. I do not think that I have ever laughed as hard as I often do there. I love watching the barriers break down as the ladies open up to Hilliary, Aaryn and me about their lives, struggles, hopes, and dreams for the future. We have been able to encourage, laugh, and pray with them. Just today, we were able to go to the hospital to visit and pray with one of the nurses' assistants who had a stroke and is in the hospital. God has shown me that I often put Him in a box and put my ministry in a box. I have this idea of what I am supposed to be doing while I am here in Africa and He constantly shows me that He is bigger than that and there are opportunities all around me to serve others and minister to them. My prayer now is that when I return home I have the same attitude towards ministry. I pray that I do not put God in a box by having my ideas of what real ministry looks like. Opportunities for "real ministry" are all around us whether we are in Africa or Amherst, Ohio. Ministry is defined as the act of serving others. I pray as believers we are all constantly in a state of ministry.
For the past four weeks I, along with two other teammates, have been participating in an HIV/ AIDS counseling course. Each day patients come into the clinic for HIV tests and we have been learning how to interact with them and pre-counsel them. Before one can be tested for HIV, he/she must first sign a document saying they have been pre-counseled and understand what they are taking part in. The main things that we talk to them about are: Confidentiality- We need to reassure that the results of the test are completely confidential and no one will know except the patient and the person administering the test. HIV/AIDS- Many times the patients do not understand what the virus and syndrome are so we have to explain what exactly is taking place in the body when the virus attacks. Transmission- Patients, many times are unaware how they became affected with the virus, so we have to explain the different means of transmission. The main three ways people are affected by HIV are through bodily fluids, needles, and from mother to child. Prevention- It is important for us to talk to the patients about ways to prevent transmission. In this part of the conversation we talk to the patients about the ABC's of prevention, which are abstinence, be faithful to one partner, and condomize. Although it can be awkward explaining the importance of condoms to the patients, it is important that they take some sort of precautions to protect himself or herself from the virus. Lifestyle Change- The next part is a very important section where we explain to the patients the importance of a lifestyle change whether the test results are positive or negative. It is in this section that we talk about nutrition, healthy living, follow-up visits, and treatments if the test returns positive. The last thing that we talk about is how the test will work and the amount of time it will take. After explaining these main points, we then ask the patient if they have any questions. This is just an outline of the conversation that takes place, but hopefully it gives you some understanding of what I have learned the past few weeks. I have only gotten to take part in one counseling session, but I am excited to be a part of many more. It has been so exciting for me to be able to see how God is using Hilliary, Aaryn and myself at the clinic. The doors that the Lord has opened for us to minister to people are amazing and I am so excited to see how He will use me next. Although we have been taught what to say, it is still very difficult, and at times awkward, for us to lead these sessions, so I just ask that you pray for boldness on my part and that the patients would understand us.
Disciples aren't born; they're made. It's a process that takes time,
discipline, and God. In reality, it looks more like waking up than
attending a class.
As part of The Awakening, you can undergo a discipleship program
like no other, experiencing four months of intense training in another
country to prepare you for the ministry that awaits you for the rest of
the year. Join The Awakening
Your
mornings will be spent in training and your afternoons ministering in
local communities, activating what you've learned. In the context of
experiential learning, you will be discipled by mentors who want to see
you grow deeply in your faith.
You will be part of a community of other individuals who share your
passion and desire to come alive in Christ. This time will challenge
and stretch you in new ways, and you will never be the same. Become a part of The Awakeningin either Latin America or Africa and discover your role in the kingdom of God.
You
were made for greatness, to experience the abundant life and freedom
that Jesus promised. As they awaken, current participants are saying:
I don't think that I will ever have such an opportunity to give up all of myself and all of my expectations as I do here. (Emily Tissot, Latin America) The
Bible study has... turned into a church. So, we have church at noon
Tuesday-Friday under the tree in front of the market. I love watching
as people just bring their stool/chair/water container... and join in
the singing. We are going through the book of Galatians, and it is cool
to see how freedom is effecting their hearts. (Denise Eckert, Africa)
This week in our family discipleship we have been learning about our identity in Christ.It is a topic that we as Christians have all studied before, but it is also one of the first things that we forget.For most of us, if we had to make a list describing ourselves to others, things like: I am a son/daughter of the King, I am made perfect in Christ, I have security in Christ, I have a spirit of boldness, I am redeemed by Christ's blood, I am a new creation and I am made alive through Christ, normally do not make it to our top ten list.The truth is that I am all of those things and many more.We were encouraged to spend a lot of time alone this week searching through the Bible to find out who Christ says that we are.As a twenty year old girl, I face many of the same issues as others.I worry about my appearance, I desire to please people, I wonder what people think about my personality and many other things that are not of Christ.It is often hard to accept all of the things that Christ says that I am to Him.It does not matter whether or not I make a mistake because He says that I am constantly being perfected into what He desires me to be.After taking a closer look at who I really am, I have a different attitude about my ministry here in Jeffrey's Bay.No matter how many times I get pushed away or rejected I know that Christ has given me not a spirit of timidity, but of boldness.He planned my life before I was even created, and He will guide me every step along the path that He has made for me.
So ministry at the clinic has started once again and I am amazed to see how God is working. Hilliary and I were excited to bring the books and toys to the clinic. The first day we decided that we would only bring out a few coloring books to see how many children would join us and there were over fifteen children outside within five minutes. Throughout the next couple of days we ventured out and taught them memory, go fish, and old maid. In addition to loving the coloring books, the children also loved playing puzzles and having us show love to them. It is amazing how the Lord answers our prayers.
This week we also started attending an AIDS seminar at the clinic. The clinical psychologist decided to put on an awareness seminar for anyone that was interested. The course is made up of six sessions that will run over a four week period. We will be learning about how to counsel people with HIV and will try to do hands on research in the township, finding out the history and lifestyles of those affected. We will also be learning how to administer the test and have the option of getting tested ourselves. So far it has been very interesting learning the correct approach to take while talking to HIV and AIDS patients.
Another answer to prayer that I have had this semester is with my relationships with the nurses and staff at the clinic. I was praying last semester that the Lord would allow further growth and that He would allow doors to open in the area of relationships there. It is difficult because the sisters are always busy and the cleaning lady that we work alongside does not speak very much English. When I returned after Christmas there was a new lady that started who is also cleaning. She has been such a blessing to Hilliary, Aaryn and I because of her love of the Lord and her desire to further His Kingdom. We have had the most incredible conversations with her and are enjoying learning about her testimony and visions for the clinic. I see her as a link in connecting us to the rest of the staff and as someone that I will hopefully be able to learn from and teach as well.
