I have been slowly working my way through the book, “A Hunger for God” by John Piper, and have been challenged greatly. The past couple of weeks I have been confronted a lot with the idea of what I find pleasure in. Last week, my team fasted on Wednesday in order to seek the Lord and find contentment in Him. At the end of the day, what I came to conclude is that I eat for pleasure. It is not necessarily and bad thing to enjoy what the Lord has provided for me, but I often forget that I should find more pleasure from the Lord. I need to be hungry for Him and hungry to sit in His presence.
It was a very emotionally draining day for me on Wednesday. It is always interesting how the Lord puts us in situations to grab our attention. He definately was trying to teach me something this day about being hungry for Him. The day started out well. I went to the clinic in the morning because we had the opportunity to visit a disability center in the afternoon. When I arrived at the clinic it was packed with young mothers and their babies. I always love going to the clinic on Tuesdays because I can hold babies the whole time. As I scoped the waiting room, looking for which mother I would approach first, a women came up to Hilliary and I asking for assistance. She was holding a five week old baby that looked like it was one day old. She started to explain that she needed to get formula for her baby because she cannot produce milk for her daughter to eat. I asked the women if I could hold her daughter, and as I unraveled the blanket, I noticed every bone in the child’s arms and hands. I asked the women when the last time her daughter ate, and she proceeded to tell me that she hasn’t eaten in five days but has only drank water. I almost broke down crying as Hilliary rushed to get one of the sisters. Hilliary assisted the women as she began to cry in her brokenness. Here she was, a first-time mother, unable to provide for her newborn baby. Hilliary found a sister to help her, but we both felt so helpless. There was nothing we could do for her.
As I proceeded down the hallway, an elderly women called out for me. She told me that she could tell that I loved babies, and said that she also did. As I sat down next to her very thin frame, she began to tell me her story of living with low blood sugar. She explained that she had just gotten out of the hospital where the doctors told her she needed to eat fruits and other special foods. The women asked me to pray for her because she could not afford to buy any of the things that were needed in order for her health to be as it should. As I held her close to me and prayed, I prayed that the Lord would fill her hunger and provide a way for her to get the items she needed.
I left the clinic drained by the encounters that I had. I knew that the Lord was definately trying to get my attention. In the afternoon, half of my team visited a disability center called Algoa Frail Care Center. It is home to people of all ages that are mentally and physically disabled. We only went through the three childrens wards that housed over one hundred children, but it is also home to many adults. Going through the wards was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have never seen so many severly handicapped children in my life. While walking through the first ward, the nurse explained to us that the children all had feeding tubes because none of them had the mental ability to feed themselves. Once again, I was reminded that these children would never be able to experience the same pleasure out of food that I enjoy so greatly. Over the next few hours, my team and me sang to the children and loved on them. The nurses said that most people are afraid to touch the children because of their disfigurement, so the fact that we loved on them physically meant a lot.
As I thought about the experiences that I had that day, I was completely broken and drained emotionally. It was odd though, because spiritually I felt refreshed and renewed. I was reminded that as children of God, we need to look to Him to fill us eat day physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I need to find pleasure in Him and delight in being in His presence.
